Britney Spears or The Pope?

Written by Adam Reilly.

Two of the most important living legends are set to embrace Ireland later this year. Both Britney Spears and Pope Francis are coming to Dublin towards the end of August. No statement has been issued from either camp whether or not the two religious icons have plans to meet.

Spears will be arriving in Dublin on the 20th of August bringing her Las Vegas residency show “Britney: Piece of Me” on tour before the final wrap up. Pope Frances will be arriving two days after Spears on the 22nd of August to peform at the World Meeting of Families with the theme “The Gospel of the Family: Joy for the World”.

It was a really tough decision for me. I knew I could afford to go to one show only. Would I go see the one that offerred enlightenment, a spiritual conection, and a chance to meet the closest living person to God or would I go and see the Pope?

I decided the only rational thing to do was to spend hours researching the career of both icons and draw bias and unfair conclusions:

  1. Britney Spears has been turning out look after look throughout her career whereas the Pope wears the same unflatterring white maxi dress she got in Primark Vatican.

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2. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Spear’s brings in over $50 million dollars a year from her perfume lines alone. However, the Pope’s signiture fragrance “Papal” has no actual scent but insists it was “blessed” by a higher power. It often has green algae growing inside of it.

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3. After six nominations (including Best New Artist for 1999), Spears won her first GRAMMY for 2004 at the 47th GRAMMY Awards for Best Dance Recording for “Toxic.” Pope Francis doesn’t even have a Teen Choice Award…

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4. At age three, Britney Spears started attending dance lessons in her hometown of Kentwood, Louisiana, and was selected to perform as a solo artist at the annual recital. Spears made her local stage debut at age five, singing “What Child Is This?” at her kindergarten graduation. During her childhood, she also attended gymnastics and voice lessons, and won many state-level competitions and children’s talent shows. Whereas Pope Francis has never recieved any professional dance training and is not flexible.

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5. Isaiah 58:10 Feed the hungry, and help those in trouble. Then your light will shine out from the darkness, and the darkness around you will be as bright as noon. Not only does Britney Spears pay her taxes but she is also a charitable queen. Spears played a huge part in the establishment of a new facility, having donated $1 million to the Nevada Childhood Cancer Foundation through ticket sales from her “Piece of Me” residency. The Pope however does not pay taxes and demands you put money in a raggedy basket at last twice per sermon.

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